Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
