So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
