Barsexuality is the new black.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Randomize
