But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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