someone threw a dead crab at me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
