So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
