Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
