I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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