she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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