so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
