Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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