I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
