i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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