so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
