i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Vodka?
Forever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
