How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
