I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Princesses don't give blow jobs
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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