Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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