that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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