It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
