sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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