I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need to calm my uterus...
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