Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
