Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
