I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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