In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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