when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize