we made out on top of his cat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
