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• (678): View more from Georgia

  My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.

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• (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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• (530): View more from California

  i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon

  (703): View more from Virginia

  she was in a cheetah costume

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  The UTI came back with a vengeance.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.

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• (510): View more from California

  That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!

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