Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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