Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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