Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
