We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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