the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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