I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
