I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
