Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
