This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
