I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
