My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
