Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
