I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
