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• (512): View more from Texas

  Did yall have sex?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen

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• (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....

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• (786): View more from Florida

  His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.

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