please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
