I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize