He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
