god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
