69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
