Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
