In the future we'll all be gay
I'm lost and stupid without you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
