So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
