When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
