Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
