Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
