dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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