Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
