Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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