I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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