I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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