I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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