Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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