I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
