my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
